The Travelling Life of Silvan Colani
January 2004 - Boracay, Philippines
This was it - The Silvan Colani 30th Birthday Expedition to Boracay - to celebrate three decades of Colani! Five days and four nights of non-stop celebration that resulted in the complete depletion of Boracay's San Miguel supply. What a blast it was. The following is an executive summary of the expedition - with vital parts suppressed for confidentiality reasons (actually, it's because I can't remember them due to the over-exposure to cheap San Miguel beer)!
Day 1. Arrival on the World's Best Beach (source: www.silvancolani.com) in the early afternoon. Wading through the water to our respective base camps you must remember one thing: it ain't paradise if your feet ain't wet. Afternoon spent at leisure in preparation for the first big party ahead - Jimmy's stag night (bachelor's party).
Shortly after sunset Jimmy is fitted out with an Arabian wedding gown onto which messages of support (sort of) are written. Looking like the Messiah, Jimmy and his followers ("we're not worth thy, we're not worth thy…") embark on a pilgrimage down the beach from one bar to the next. We rest briefly at Summer Place to dance on the bar before continuing further to Charlh's Bar where the effects of over-intoxication result in various members of the expedition taking a swim (voluntarily or otherwise). A scramble between the Messiah and Schoggi Rene results in a broken chair, which nobody remembers the next day.
Day 2. Fully rested (at various quarters - details still sketchy) we start the preparations for Jimmy's wedding. Hard work involves sitting in the shade and supervising local talent creating the set-up for a beach wedding. By sunset, Jimmy and Nenita are supposed to arrive on separate sailing boats at the beach, to be wed by the Vice Mayor in front of the assembled island folk. After some frantic last minute co-ordination (this is the Philippines after all) the boats arrive in perfect unison at sunset, with the pant-less groom picking up his beautiful bride and carrying her to the shore.
A brief ceremony ensues where vows are exchanged followed by the all-important "you may kiss the bride". Jubilations last well into the night with sumptuous food (where's the risotto?), unlimited drink, fire-eating performances, music and dance (how can we ever forget the "ocho ocho" song...).
Day 3. Sobered up (somewhat) we go sailing - a perfect way of doing nothing. A light lunch at Baling Hai is followed by a round of Cho Dai Dee, resulting in a "Double Moon" performance by Schoggi Rene and Martin out on a floating platform (see Cho Dai Dee gallery).
Dress code for the evening is the Official Expedition T-Shirt, created by local artist pagadache (visit www.pagadache.com). Following another picture-perfect sunset the expedition adjourns to True Food, an idyllic Indian restaurant where the San Miguel flows freely to insane quantities of food (more curry anybody?). More drinking and partying ensues.
Day 4. An early morning dive at Friday's Rock for the early risers is followed by a snorkeling trip for the lazier members of the expedition. Massages, food and other pampering fill the afternoon before the expedition re-unites for an exciting game of Beach Volleyball at Friday's resort. A well-balanced team split pitched such heavy weights as Ruedi "The Hammer" and Richard "The Sand Fly Bitten" again Schoggi "Itchy Groin" Rene and Mei "Don't Ruin My Manicure". In a tight showdown, the Colani side won by three sets to two, much to the distress of the ever-ambitious Martin "The Maniac Laugh".
The game was followed by the Official Birthday Celebration Dinner at Friday's, which in turn was followed by the Official Let's Get Seriously Drunk Party at Cocomanga's. The latter is famous for its "15 and still standing" shooters competition that will allow successful drinkers to advance their country by a point each on Cocomanga's infamous "Wall of Fame". We are pleased to report to have advanced Liechtenstein from 4 to 7 points in a single night, bypassing Panama, Indonesia, Turkey, Vietnam and others in the process. Long live Liechtenstein!
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