December 2002 - New Zealand (cont.)
Thursday was going to be The Big Day. In fact, it was going to be a "Four Sandwich Day". Paul measures the intensity of his climbing days in terms of sandwich consumption. (In the event, I only ate three out of my four sandwiches, due to their gooey consistency and horrible taste, but that's beside the point). We awoke at 2:00 am and were off by 3:00 am. Conditions were great, with a bright moon and clear sky illuminating the early morning scene.
Trudging on crampons, it is at least a 2 ˝ hours trip to the bottom of the SW ridge. Paul had actually hoped for some sort of shortcut, which did not work out due to an impassable Bergschrund. Having had to turn back at the schrund, I was able to further expand my vocabulary thanks to Paul's extensive use of swearwords. Unfortunately, most of these cannot be repeated on a family-friendly website like this. Suffice to say, they involved particular parts of the female anatomy...
We eventually gained the SW ridge by the standard route and found it in excellent condition. Following two pitches across easy rock we stood on the awe-inspiring snow-crested ridge that rises in 45-50 degree angle towards the top of the mountain.
Thanks to the good conditions and the foot steps of previous parties, there was almost like a staircase heading up to the summit. We "short-roped (mountaineer speak for dog-on-a-leash) most of the ridge and managed to record the following broadcast at about 2,800 m:
After that it was another four pitches of ice and rock climbing before we "North walled" (mountaineer speak for climbing face in with your axe, ice pick and front points of your crampons) onto the summit ridge. The last pitch was just pure enjoyment and probably some of the most spectacular climbing I've ever done. It certainly made up for all the agony on f***ing French Ridge. We topped out on the summit (3,033 m) at 10:30 am, 7 ˝ hrs after having left the hut. The summit photos speak for themselves:
The descent down the NW ridge was surprisingly easy - thanks again to the fantastic conditions. We reached the bottom of the "ramp" within 1 ˝ hrs after having summited - apparently quite a record according to Paul. At 2:00 pm we were back at the hut ("two for tea at two..."), making it an eleven hour day on the mountain.
The beauty of Mt. Aspiring is that it is such a perfectly shaped mountain. It is a gorgeous pyramid in the right proportions and when viewed from the right angle, actually quite steep. The Bonar Glacier really drops off quite dramatically and the climbing is thus often strenuous, if not particularly technical.
Back at the hut there was plenty of reason for backslapping and congratulations. Many parties had summitted today on various routes. Actually, some guides thought it was "really busy up there", but I've honestly seen worse in HK on Pedder Street at lunch time. These innocent Kiwis don't quite grasp the definition of "busy" and "crowded".
I might add a few more words about the Kiwis - not the bird or the fruit, but the people. They are some of the friendliest Westerners you'll ever meet, with a great sense of humour but a language which is sometimes a bit hard to follow. There are many things I like about the Kiwis, such as their environmental awareness, which is so hard to find in Hong Kong.
Like myself, the Kiwis are also not particularly keen on the French, since the French secret service blew up a Greenpeace vessel in Auckland harbor several years ago and due to French nuclear tests in the South Pacific until recently.
There are also a few weird things about the Kiwis. One is that they hang the toilet paper the wrong way round, i.e. with the loose end dropping down the back instead of the front. Maybe it's got something to do with the Southern hemisphere…?
The other thing is that many of their kitchen and toilet sinks have two faucets - one for hot water and one for cold. What's the point of this? You either freeze your hands on one side or burn them on the other. They clearly need some help on the plumbing front
And then there's the language. When I was told that someone "will sort you out", I expected to be beaten up, Mafia-style ("Eh, Mario, go sort him out, OK?") Instead they would simply help you arrange your affairs.
There's also a host of little expressions that you can throw into your conversations to demonstrate your grasp of the local language. "Good as gold" is one of them, as in "You can pay me later, mate, that's good as gold."
The one I had most difficulty coming to terms with is "sweet ass". "Sweet ass" is an expression of approval or appreciation which Kiwis use in almost any context ("The SW ridge was in great condition, sweet ass!") However, I was somewhat reluctant to use the term when talking to women for fear of getting slapped in the face ("One pint of lager, please, sweet ass!" - SMACK!) or worse in the case of guys ("Mate, where's the Garry Glitter? Sweet ass!" - WHACK!)
