December 2002 - New Zealand (cont.)
Back in the hills the focus shifted onto getting "oft" the mountain. Since we had walked in, we would now have the luxury of a "fly out". That sounded much more civilized then tumbling back down French Ridge which some climbers, including our two Aussie friends, opted for. We thus spent a peaceful evening in the hut, cooking and eating all our remaining food supplies (of which there weren't many, since I set out to eat them all up right after our French Ridge odyssey in order to lighten my pack!) I also broadened my vocabulary further by listening to a story of Paul that involved a "fanny mechanic" (a gynecologist!!!)
Next morning, we traversed the Bonar Glacier once more on a two hour journey to Bevan Col, from where the heli would pick us up at 10:00 am. Flying out gave us a bird's eye view of the entire climb:
Back at Raspberry Flats, we soaked up the warm climate and the smell of fresh grass. We were also re-united with our Aussie friends who somehow had made it down the French Ridge ALIVE. This needed to be celebrated with BEER, that life-supporting liquid I had deprived of for almost a week. We hurried back to Wanaka and had lots of it! More beer was followed by a swim in the lake and a decision to see Part 2 of The Lord of the Rings!
Avid readers of this website may recall that I had watched the first installment of this mind-numbing trilogy a year ago at the same occasion, at the same place (Cinema Paradiso in Wanaka - the greatest cinema anywhere in the world. Check out these pictures: old sofas, airline seats, an old car, bean bags - AND; you can drink Beer inside!!!). Avid readers will also recall that I had walked out after the first half last year, after having bored myself stiff. But this was a mistake: I later realized that there was obviously no way I would catch up in part two if I had missed the second half of part one. As a result I went to see the entire thing again in Hong Kong (including, of course, the first half).
I was thus prepared to endure another three hours of wizard and goblin nonsense. In essence, the story goes as follows: there is this Hobit geezer (geezer; n, person or character, often used in a derogatory context; e.g. that old geezer) who's got to drop a ring into a flaming mountain. But there is Saron the Moron, son of Scaramanga (or something like that) who's got an army of deranged Droolers with serious teeth problems. Instead of going to the dentist, these Droolers take the piss out on our Hobit geezer and his friends. It's all quite complicated, really, with walking trees (that look like an eco-copy of the walking gun ships from Star Wars) and strange dialogues like "Wait for me at dawn on the 3rd day of the 5th moon... I shall come to you from the East!"
But the action scenes and the special effects are good (especially that skinny schizophrenic geezer who bears a certain resemblance to a mountain guide). The setting is obviously also spectacular with most scenes filmed in NZ. Finally, let me say that I watched the whole thing and that I will refrain from further criticism for fear of not being let back into the country to suffer through "Part Three - The Geezer Strikes Back". In all fairness, there's probably more to this fairytale than I am currently willing to admit, having seen a one-hour documentary on the historical parallels the author drew on when writing the story.
The rest of my holiday was, as usual, spent breaking the speeding limit on all of NZ's wonderful roads. The highlights can be summarized as follows:
Saturday: Drove all the way up the West Coast past Haast (where is always rains - what a miserable place), Fox Glacier, Franz Josef, Hokitika, Greymouth, Punakaiki to Westport (all together more than 400 kms). Near Westport I checked out the seal colony (Conclusion: seals stink. I mean, really, they smell badly. Maybe that's why the nearby cape is called Cape Foulwind!) I had drinks in a remote pub where one of the locals, upon hearing that I am from Hong Kong, immediately pointed out "Joe Bananas". Some bars obviously have a reputation beyond known boundaries. Dinner was at The Bay House, a fantastic place in terms of food and location, about 2 kms down from a big Holcim cement plant - an outpost of Swiss globalization near the end of the world...
Sunday: Drove from Westport across the island to Kaikoura. The journey was again spectacular with long winding (and EMPTY) roads. Somewhere before Reefton, on a long flat straight, I tested the maximum speed of the MGF. I am pleased to report having reached 180 km/h before slowing down to avoid losing bits and pieces of the rattling chassis. In Kaikoura I checked into Futuna Rocks, a neat and very reasonably priced motel. I also visited an art gallery which, to my surprise, was run by a Swiss geezer who had emigrated to NZ ten years ago, after having lived his previous life in Zurich Seebach - right next to where I grew up.
But Kaikoura is famous for whale watching, "swimming with the dolphins" and similar wildlife experiences. I decided to sign up for the latter the next morning.
Monday: No driving this morning. Instead, swimming with the dolphins. Dolphin Encounter run trips whereby you get to swim alongside the Dusky Dolphins (Lagenorhynchus Obscurus) which inhabit the waters off Kaikoura year-round. It's quite an experience which must not be missed if you get the chance. We spotted a group of at least 30 dolphins and jumped into the freezing ocean with our heavy wet suits. To attract the dolphins (you are supposed to entertain them) you may try a dive or make funny noises through your snorkel. If you are of sufficient interest, the dolphins might come over and circle you in curiosity. (I imagine that the dolphins run organized tours called "Swim with the Humans" whereby they pay 98 squid for the chance to see wild humans in colourful suits and masks making ridiculous noises. "Oh, look! It's a Colani Obscurus!") Anyway, I enjoyed the spectacle immensely and to top it all off we also had a chance sighting of an orca (killer whale) family.
After lunch I drove off towards Christchurch along a stretch of beautiful coastal road. On the way I noticed another peculiar Kiwi design: there are often two tunnels cutting through the cliffs - one for the south-bound lane and one for the north-bound. These tunnels must have been designed by the same genius who came up with the Two Tap System...
An hour north of Christchurch is the Waipara wine growing region. I dropped in on all the free tastings, pretending to be some sort of wine connoisseur ("mmmh, very oaky, with traces of marshmallow...") when in reality I was just after the free booze.
Back in Christchurch I checked into the Stonehurst (good location and reasonably priced) before checking out the nightlife (surprisingly busy for a Monday, but nothing too exciting).
Tuesday, Christmas Eve: I dropped off the car (1282 kms in three days) and jumped on a plane back to the Wild Wild East of Hong Kong.
In summary, I would highlight this vacation as follows:
1. Climbed Mt. Aspiring
2. Covered 2000 kms of some of the greatest roads in the world at speeds more commensurate with my driving ability than with the speed limit.
3. Expanded my vocabulary considerably.
